God.
Today has been frustrating times five!
I love my mom and everything, but to be honest sometimes it's really hard not to hate her.Its just... I want to be alone sometimes. And not have her burst open the door every five minutes or tell me to do a different chore a different way every three. Can't she just- I don't know- leave me alone?
I swear, watching reruns of Dawson's Creek is the only thing keeping me sane these days. And they switched the time slot from 11 pm to 2 am, so it's unlikely I'll even get to watch that anymore.
Maybe I can find old episodes on YouTube or something.
Or maybe I could get a life.
I have no idea what I'm going to do once school starts again- I'll be juggling chores, school, plus being the new kid in a new school. I should just start hiding under the covers for the rest of my life and be done with it. At least then I'd have a chance of surviving my teens.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Perfect Moments
So yesterday was my birthday.
There wasn't anything especially special about it- I got some really nice gifts, everyone was extra special nice to me, I looked really pretty (and felt that way too, for once.)
The really funny thing about birthdays is that everyone expects them to be perfect, to be so much more exciting and special then any other day. But honestly, it's just a day. And there are no such things as perfect days, and to expect one would just be setting your self up for disappointment. There are definitely such things as perfect moments though- those few seconds when everything is completely right with the world, when you have no fears or thoughts or doubts about anything. See why they only last a moment?
Well, to get to the point, I had one semi-perfect moment yesterday. Just one, and it was pretty beautiful.
Since my dad can't really function well in restaurants anymore (Looooong story. Long long long story) we picked up dinner instead from one of my favorite places. As soon as I walked in, I noticed someone staring at me from behind the counter. I was really flattered, but it was sort of funny too- I could only see half of him from where he was standing. So he stared at me, and I looked back at him, and then I stood on tip toe to get a better look- it was like we were flirting without even talking to each other. He was a cute guy, too- maybe a year or so older than me, with blonde hair and a nice face. So as we were leaving I turned around to get one last look, and he smiled and waved at me. I smiled and raised my eyebrows at him, and we left.
Of course I'll probably never see him again, and I don't even know anything about him, but- it was like I had grown up into my age all at once, just because some guy thought I was worth flirting with. And then as we were driving back home, I looked up at the sky, which was this incredible robins-egg blue color, and shut my eyes, and I had my perfect moment.
So I guess my birthday wasn't a total loss. :)
There wasn't anything especially special about it- I got some really nice gifts, everyone was extra special nice to me, I looked really pretty (and felt that way too, for once.)
The really funny thing about birthdays is that everyone expects them to be perfect, to be so much more exciting and special then any other day. But honestly, it's just a day. And there are no such things as perfect days, and to expect one would just be setting your self up for disappointment. There are definitely such things as perfect moments though- those few seconds when everything is completely right with the world, when you have no fears or thoughts or doubts about anything. See why they only last a moment?
Well, to get to the point, I had one semi-perfect moment yesterday. Just one, and it was pretty beautiful.
Since my dad can't really function well in restaurants anymore (Looooong story. Long long long story) we picked up dinner instead from one of my favorite places. As soon as I walked in, I noticed someone staring at me from behind the counter. I was really flattered, but it was sort of funny too- I could only see half of him from where he was standing. So he stared at me, and I looked back at him, and then I stood on tip toe to get a better look- it was like we were flirting without even talking to each other. He was a cute guy, too- maybe a year or so older than me, with blonde hair and a nice face. So as we were leaving I turned around to get one last look, and he smiled and waved at me. I smiled and raised my eyebrows at him, and we left.
Of course I'll probably never see him again, and I don't even know anything about him, but- it was like I had grown up into my age all at once, just because some guy thought I was worth flirting with. And then as we were driving back home, I looked up at the sky, which was this incredible robins-egg blue color, and shut my eyes, and I had my perfect moment.
So I guess my birthday wasn't a total loss. :)
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Tomorrows my birthday...
I’m fifteen tomorrow.
Fifteen.
The weirdest thing is I don’t even feel like I deserve to be this old yet, like there must have been some sort of test I forgot to take. Usually before I turn a new age I feel that age already, but definitely not this time. I wasn’t that great at being fourteen- I need to get more practice in.
I’m way too young to be this mature!
So. To get more experienced at life, and to learn from my mistakes, and so I can grow more as a person, I’m going to diary my life for a whole year. Fifteen, on paper for your pleasurable reading enjoyment. It feels a little scary to take on, because I’m honest with no one and I trust- well, no one- but I need to do this. It feels right, plus it’ll be fun to look back in like ten years and remember stuff I would have forgotten otherwise.
Maybe this year will be different than the last few- better, more interesting, a little faster. Because God knows that if I keep being as boring as I am, you’ll fall asleep in about two minutes. That’s all I have to say today, so I guess I’ll fill you in on my family/history/blah blah blah tomorrow.
Fifteen.
The weirdest thing is I don’t even feel like I deserve to be this old yet, like there must have been some sort of test I forgot to take. Usually before I turn a new age I feel that age already, but definitely not this time. I wasn’t that great at being fourteen- I need to get more practice in.
I’m way too young to be this mature!
So. To get more experienced at life, and to learn from my mistakes, and so I can grow more as a person, I’m going to diary my life for a whole year. Fifteen, on paper for your pleasurable reading enjoyment. It feels a little scary to take on, because I’m honest with no one and I trust- well, no one- but I need to do this. It feels right, plus it’ll be fun to look back in like ten years and remember stuff I would have forgotten otherwise.
Maybe this year will be different than the last few- better, more interesting, a little faster. Because God knows that if I keep being as boring as I am, you’ll fall asleep in about two minutes. That’s all I have to say today, so I guess I’ll fill you in on my family/history/blah blah blah tomorrow.
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